The Christmas Diaries: Part One

Well, it's happened again. One minute it's Labor Day, and the next minute I am tinseling my cacti and fighting old ladies for the last pair of doggie antlers in the pet store: "This is Brooklyn! You think we share?!"  So much for Christmas spirit.

But the good things about Christmas far outweigh the bad. For example:

-drinking at the office is not only ok, it is required
-mangers finally get some respect
-modifying any word with "Christmas" makes it ok (e.g., "Christmas oven fire")

The other wonderful thing about Christmas is that it is the apex of my turbo-charged, cookie-fueled, sprint-to-the-finish cooking season. I cook Christmas dinner, which means that the month of December is spent testing recipes, menus, wine, and more wine. On top of this, I also bake 4 or 5 types of cookies to give as gifts, which usually takes an entire weekend. Oh, and this year I am taking a 3 week cake decorating class in all of my free time.

But more on that later. The main task at hand is Christmas Dinner and the annual question of, "What absurdly time-consuming dish that I have never made has the highest probability of failure and also generates the maximum number of dirty dishes?"

In the past I have made festive but not quite traditional meat mains such as duck confit, lamb brochettes, and stuffed pork tenderloin, but after some not-so-subtle last minute lobbying I settled on beef, which I rarely cook.

I am definitely out of my comfort zone with red meat; the last time I attempted to cook beef, it turned into an epic weekend of debauchery, so forgive me for being a bit wary. In order to "scaffold" my beginner's beef education, I planned to test a beef recipe for three consecutive weekends, in increasing difficulty. Which brings us to...

Beef Adventure #1: Filet Mingon with Mushroom Risotto and Asparagus

Ok, I know. This is not the most innovative meal. However, it does have its advantages when for a party of 16. I was also hoping that if I mastered filet mignon, the other beef dishes would be a cinch, and by Christmas I would be whipping up beef wellingtons with one hand tied behind my back.

Step 1: Massage the steak with a peppercorn crust. Ok, now that will be $80.

I had these dried porcini mushrooms that I had brought back from Umbria,so I made a seriously intense mushroom stock for the risotto. The downside was that my apartment still smells like a Phish concert.

A pretty decent salad of shaved fennel, grapes, pecan, and sweet gorgonzola. Again, not so original.

Why does this not look more appetizing? Probably because the filets were not cut into those pretty little rounds you were expecting. The risotto was great, and the steak was pretty good, but all in all, this gets a B+. Not special enough for Christmas.

However, the dessert was definitely special! Vanilla bean souffle....

With salted caramel! You can imagine the visceral pleasure of watching the souffle deflate until a little well of caramel forms in the middle. Amazing!

Conclusion:

Let's take a look at the old Christmas dinner rubric. What?

           1= Totally Half Ass     2=Unimpressive    3= Meh.    4=Pretty Good    5=Blew Me Away

Specialness:                                         2

Tastiness:                                                                                            4

Technical Difficulty:                              2  

Number of Dirty Dishes:                                                 3

Average= 2/5. This menu (except the dessert) is just not going to make the cut.