The Pickle Report: On Fermentation

It was with great excitement that I attended my first-ever fermentation party yesterday. The party, "Get Your Pickle On", seemed particularly timely, as everybody seems to be pickling something these days, especially in Brooklyn. And my goodness, you put a little vinegar on something and boy, do those hipster vegan socialists turn out!

Other notable firsts of the day included:
 - first time in a commune
 - first taste of Meade (I really tried to like it)
 - first time eating pickled celery, pickled quail eggs, sourdough cookies, and dehydrated beets
 - first time in "Bush-Sty"
 - first time using 2 U-locks and a cable to secure my bike

Worried about how I might fit in with this meat-averse, single payer-loving, "job"-eschewing, crowd, I adopted this crafty disguise:

I believe it worked, because not only did I talk to some very pleasant socialists (apparently, it's more of a "federation" than a "commune"), but my pickled ramps and stone ground wheat bread kinda stole the show. My ramps were a nice contrast to the many mason jars of cloudy brines that had been pickling for up to 3 years, and the bread was actually still warm from my oven (talk about local).

I got the feeling only one communista could see through my glasses-and-fake-nose disguise, when she asked me if I had ground my own wheat for the bread. Well, excuse me. Suddenly I felt like I had been caught with my hemp pants down. No, I had not ground my wheat, because I was busy reading Hegel to the worms in my compost pile. However, I did know the name of the farmer who did grind the wheat and sell it to me (true), so i believe the appropriate phrase for this situation is... suck it!

Anyway, the pickling was vast and creative. Here are some highlights:

Clearly the best: my pickled ramps and wheat bread

Kombucha: Date Unknown. (eeeeewww)

Whole hard boiled eggs pickled in something red. Either that, or an alien life form about to hatch.

Another favorite, the hot hot sausage party pickle.

My kraut runneth over.

So as you can see, it was an impressive spread. I feel a little more cultured and worldly after having tried all these things I would have otherwise considered too new age. Plus, getting to know my commune neighbors in all their fermented nerdiness was... enlightening. I have yet to find out what the effects of eating so many fermented foods at once is, but I am pretty sure my fingertips are starting to shrivel.