Ramp MANIA !

I dont know about you, but in my foodie-centric little world, ramps are everywhere right now, and all anyone seems to be talking about. Overheard in the ramp zone:

"The special of the day is a ramp risotto, served with a ramp coulis and a fiddlehead fern foam."

"I'll have a half-caf soymilk ramp latte."

"I was disappointed in the lack of ramps in Patterson's budget proposal. No wonder he is on the way out."

"Yea, I just tricked out my  track bike with these ironic upside down handlebars and a ramp-green paint job. The ladies love it"

As for yours truly, I do, in fact live in the ramp zone, although I advocate neither ramp-green paint jobs nor fiddlehead fern foams. I did, however, buy my first bunch of ramps yesterday, which was kind of like jostling  a crazed mob of teenage girls for a chance to touch Robert Pattison's hair. If Robert Pattison's hair were ramps.

Anyway, I managed to buy my bunch of ramps and escape with only minor scratches and a black eye. What will I do with these garlicky, oniony, pungent bulbs of goodness? Well, ramp risotto did come to mind. Or sauteed with linguine, breadcrumbs and pecorino. I even thought about making a filling to roll in a chicken breast, or stuff a pork chop.

But no, rampMANIA 2010 calls for something special. I am going to pickle them in honor of my very first fermentation party on Sunday. Thats right, your favorite carnivore is going to a fermentation party titled "Get your Pickle On" (not kidding). Even more shocking is that I will actually enter the home of and socialize with actual vegans in an actual food coop for approximately 1-2 hours. This is not the same thing as the park slope food coop where I buy my flaxseed in bulk-- no, no. This is a real Co-op (capital C) where like minded socialist, meat-averse, hippies live in a new age human fermentation experiment. Not surprisingly, this place is in Bed Stuy. Why they invited me of all people, I can't say, but it might have to do with that time I made fermented doughnuts. I didnt know they would give people the wrong impression.

Anyway, I am very excited about this fermentation party, and fairly proud of my abilities to pickle my way to social acceptance. I think it will be a sort of exercise in cross-cultural understanding and tolerance. I cant say I will consume tempeh (or kombucha... shudder...), but I am mostly sure we can all get along and talk about pickling, if not food politics. Heres to you, noble ramp, bringer togetherer of peoples, the olive branch of our times.