Flaxseed in bulk: On Joining A Food Cult.

You are looking at (figuratively) the newest member of the Park Slope Food Coop, or as I call it, the Park Slope Foodie Militia!

Now, the Coop is a pretty polarizing part of Brooklyn; everyone either loves it, hates it, or has been suspended from it. The idea of a food coop is perfectly fine (who doesn't like cooperation?), but the exclusivity of this one, and the general, how do I say... yuppie righteousness... tends to give the coop a reputation of equal parts obnoxious botox mommies and dirty hippies (no offense to either).

Plus, as in most coops, you have to work to be a member. And while 2 1/2 hours a month is entirely doable for me (lets face it, I dont have a life), the rules are, ahem, a bit rigid. One strike and you're on probation, two strikes and you can't even come in anymore! What is this place, a high maintenance girlfriend? I don't need to be in the doghouse any more than I already am. (Side note: would I be excommunicated if I used this hillarious tote to shop there?)

Anyway, after six weeks of anxious waiting, I was finally able to get a foot in the door. Of course, I imagine that those six weeks were spent evaluating my foodie credentials, probably in a secret lair under the BQE. I imagine it went something like this:

"Comrade, I don't know, it says here she shopped at Key Foods twice this month. And plus, she doesn't even post to her blog that often, and it's not like she doesn't have the time."

"That's true, commandante...what's this? It looks like she ate a twinkie in 2002!"

(in unison) "For shame!"

"Let's go eat some organic millet to soothe our souls."

"Good idea, comrade."


So anyway, I finally got to attend the initial hazing, also known as orientation, a few days ago. It was surprisingly not scary. I mean, I did have to do some pushups for rolling my eyes once, but that's about it. It was actually fairly inspiring, not to mention the food was incredibly fresh and CHEAP. That alone will definitely motivate me to cook more. I am still considering the no-leg-shaving provision of the charter, but besides that minor issue I'm totally stoked to be a member of my friendly neighborhood cult.

Way to start off the new year!