No, my many, many readers, my big success is not food-related. It's actually real estate-related. Intrigued? You see, when you courted by an employer, moved across the country, wined and dined (read: stale cookies left in the break room)... these things mean your boss thinks you are a good employee. But when your boss REALLY thinks you are the cat's pajamas, you may get... an office.
Now I know, I know, to you midwesterners this may not be that exciting. Your entry level offices are probably bigger than my apartment. But in New York... well, the only thing more cutthroat than getting your own office is trying to cut the line at Momofuku. Let me just say that one wizened old friend told me it took him ten years of slaving to get an office. All I had to say to him was that I am obviously smarter. And I am cuter.
Now that you understand how incredibly hot shit I must be to have gotten an office, just imagine the wild heights I must have reached in my boss' eyes to have been given an office with THIS view:
I can tell you are impressed. A view of the Hudson river (partially obstructed) isn't given away to just anyone. But what really warms my heart is the twenty foot high blood-sucking insect that was so thoughtfully placed in my eyeline. I mean really, what could be more motivational on a clear, cold winter morning than to stand at your own office window with your deli coffee and see... "Bed Bugs SUCK!"
Indeed they do, my friends. Indeed they do.
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