And then there are days when you sweat through your clothes before you even get to work, people repeatedly barge in to your office demanding things while you're right in the middle of blogging, and running for the train, your 10% compost Whole Foods paper bag rips and spills your groceries all over the platform, leaving the man in the garbage bag dress to wonder, what could she possibly be making with bittersweet chocolate, mustard seeds, and an onion?
Well I'll tell you what I was making, if you haven't already guessed from the title. But first, let me dispel any rumors that I am pregnant. What some are speculating is a baby bump is actually the unfortunate effects of last night's Shuck and Suck Oyster festival, and let's just say that unlimited beer and shellfish don't go well with a girlish figure.
Now that we've cleared that up, I was planning to make a big batch of fresh pickles to take to the multiple barbeques and picnics happening this weekend. Why bring another batch of cupcakes? yawn. Really, I think people would be more excited to have salty, sweet, crunchy pickles to go with their burgers than a ho-hum potato salad.But at the last minute, I panicked. Does everyone like pickles? Is that a weird thing to bring to a picnic, like coming to a party with a jar of hard boiled eggs? Would there be as much pickle scrutiny as there was at the fermentation party, and if so, should I dust off my crafty disguise?
I decided I needed a backup plan, something that would satisfy the plain hot dog eaters of the world. But-- this needed to be made several days in advance, because Lorenzo really wanted to go to the Cheesemonger Invitational this weekend, and, well, we all know that I don't mess with Champagne Thursday.
That meant that pies, tarts, cookies, brownies, etc. were off the list. I could have made sausage in advance, but Mike the Butcher and I aren't really on good terms at the moment. I decided on ice cream-- everyone likes ice cream, even plain hot dog eaters.I had a bunch of mint in the fridge, and I thought nothing would be more classic than mint chocolate chip ice cream at a summer picnic. So I started off happily making my custard base when an idea struck me-- I had spied a lavender bush outside my building of all places, and wouldn't honey lavender ice cream be good too? At least I hoped it was lavender. This being park slope, my neighbors could have just as easily been growing patchouli.
At any rate, Lorenzo and I put on our matching black eye masks and snuck outside to surreptitiously snip off a few lavender branches while hiding in the shrubbery.
Now I was simultaneously making two time-sensitive batches of ice cream. Stirring two pots at once with both hands, I was aware that there was a high risk of failure. Case in point: since I was using the time-honored tradition of "eyeballing it" without an actual recipe for the lavender honey ice cream, I think I added twice as much honey as I should have. The custard was very, very sweet. Delicious-- but very sweet. I really hope it mellows out in the churning, kind of like how I hope a cheap bottle of wine gets better as it "aerates".
The mint custard, on the other hand, was barely sweet at all but the intensely herbal flavor of the mint and the barely green color were fascinating. Is this what mint is really like? It was nothing at all like a shamrock shake.
Now that I had my two questionable custards prepared, I could move on to the pickles. These were easy enough-- just chop, bring vinegars and spices to a boil, throw it all together, and wait. The real beauty, though, is tasting them every day as they pickle more and more. It's kind of like watching a plant grow little by little, or watching Heidi Montag slowly turn into a cyborg: it takes patience, but in the end it restores your faith in the wonders of nature.
**** To Be Continued ***
Coming Soon: pickling and churning with flair
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